Are you choosy with whom you connect with in LinkedIn?

This question was posted by someone on the Q&A section of LinkedIn and I thought it was relevant to people who are just staring to network online. My answer will be based on LinkedIn only. Since my criteria is different in different sites I will write about this subject in a future post.

I originally started out being very choosy.  This was before I actually had a strategy for Social Networking. However once I came up with a strategy and I came up with a new premise that I wrote about on an article called “Your Only One Person Away” , I relaxed my criteria for accepting connections.

My purpose for using LinkedIn is to be a “matchmaker.” I would love to be the guy who people call me and ask: “who do you know that ….?” and then refer them to someone who does that. To do this, I need to have a rather large and diverse network. The more people I add to my network, the more people I can connect.

If someone invites me to connect and I’ve never met them, I will first look at their profile and see how many people are endorsing them and what those people are saying. If I like what I see, I respond with a message asking them why they want to connect with me. The depth of their answer will determine whether I accept the connection or not.

Once I have an interaction with someone,  i.e. they comment on one of my articles, answer one of my questions, etc. then I’m much more likely to seek a connection.

What’s your criteria?

People often say this to me during networking events (both online and offline.) This is especially the case if I have done something that has provided value for them or has helped them. This is part of the reciprocity cycle. Unfortunately, many of us are not prepared to answer this question in a way that

a) will allow the other person to help us.

b) actually provide some help for us.

The problem is that we often ask for things that require a much stronger relationship and a deeper level of trust than what we have at the time. So if someone asks me the question, “how may I be able to help you?” and I respond with: “if you know someone who is into personal development and would like to do a course, please send them my way,” the odds are that they will nod theirr head and say, “OK” and that will be the end of it.

Compare the above response with this one: “thanks for asking. As a matter of fact there is. I have recently written a new article and would appreciate it if you were to take a few minutes to read it, rate it and possibly make a comment. May I email you the link to it?”

I’m much more likely to have the person help me doing the latter than the former. And in the process I will have strengthened our relationship.

So go ahead and make a list of things that people can do for you that require a relative low investment of time and risk and have them ready the next time someone asks you how they can help you.

Please share with me what are some of those ways so that I can add them to my own list.