If you practice any kind of awareness training, you already know the power of questions. However, what you’re probably missing is that you may be asking the wrong questions – without you knowing it! The following excerpt from Dr. Neil Postman, the celebrated Chair of the Department of Culture and Communications at New York University, superbly illustrates this:

“A question, even of the simplest kind, is not, and never can be unbiased. The structure of any question is as devoid of neutrality as its content. The form of a question may ease our way or pose obstacles. Or, when even slightly altered, it may generate totally different answers, as in the case of the two priests who, being unsure if it was permissible to smoke and pray at the same time, wrote to the Pope for a definitive answer. One priest phrased the question ‘Is it permissible to smoke while praying?’ and was told it is not, since prayer should be the focus of one’s whole attention; the other priest asked if it is permissible to pray while smoking and was told that it is, since it is always permissible to pray.”

So what biases are you suffering from when you ask questions about networking? With your questions, what beliefs are you reinforcing?

I’ve been a member of Business Networking International (BNI), the world’s largest business networking organization, for 11 years. I have also been involved in Social Networking (SN) for the past four years. I see a remarkable synergy between both the offline and the online networking worlds. And yet I’m constantly amazed by the reluctance people from each world have about embracing the other world.

Here are a few of the questions I get asked during my presentations on combining online and offline networking to maximize results. Can you recognize the biases in them? What’s my return on investment (ROI) with networking? How much time do you waste driving to and from events? You have a big network online, but how many of those people do you REALLY know? You claim that I can triple the number of referrals I receive, but what about the quality of these referrals? With these questions do you start to see common “judgmental” threads?

Compare the questions above with these. How can I increase the odds that my social networking will yield a solid ROI? How can I maximize the time I will be investing at this event? How can I capitalize on the value I’ve built with my network? How can I educate my referral partners to receive better quality referrals?

Which set of questions is more likely to yield higher dividends?

Asking better questions is an essential skill in becoming a better communicator. It is also the key to discovery. A great place to start honing this skill is by being aware of our own biases. With awareness, we can purposely examine the biases and see if they are helping us achieve our goals. If they’re not, we can toss them and replace them with new questions that will.

Thanks to Nate Kievman I just learned how to add a Video Profile to LinkedIn. To see how it is integrated on my LinkedIn profile, go to my profile on LinkedIn.  Be sure to click on the view full profile. If you do, be sure to drop me a note.

One of the most powerful concepts I have been toying with is the idea that you are only one person away from having someone support you in achieving your dreams. What would happen to your business if someone who is highly influential decided to back you and promote you? Let’s say Oprah or Bill Gates, or maybe the president of an association with thousands of members. Get the picture?

Earlier this year, my company launched a product called QuoteActions. It is a system that allows the small business owner to stay in touch and open conversations with their entire database. We set a goal of selling 200 subscriptions for this year, and we have a good chance of achieving our goal. Our business plan projects 1,000 sales in two years.

However, based on this post’s title, the truth is–there is no reason why this couldn’t happen a lot sooner. All I would need to do is attract one highly influential person who already does business with my target audiences.  This someone would serve the needs of small business owners and/or independent service providers.  If they were to endorse my company and product to their clients, I believe the timeframe would be significantly reduced.

Here’s the interesting part. Last Wednesday I was attending a networking meeting with my BNI group and one of the visitors ended up sitting next to me. We chatted for a few minutes, and he told me that my business sounded interesting to him. We exchanged cards and decided to explore how we could work together in the future.

As it turned out he contacted me that very afternoon. After reviewing my website and my blog, he made the call to let me know that we had something he and his company were looking for. As a business development leader of a successful sales training firm in Southern California, they had been looking for a company that does experiential learning to help their clients. They have a database of over 100,000 members—all are small business owners, entrepreneurs and service providers. Imagine what could happen if his company decides to promote and become an affiliate provider of our product? When you combine the database numbers with the credibility this person enjoys with his clients, we could possibly reach our 1,000 within weeks. Think about it–if only 1% of their contacts respond positively, it’s a win-win for both companies. I’m not saying this will happen, however, it is now a very real possibility.

We have a tendency to project the future based on what has happened in the past. We often extrapolate numbers based on averages from previous months or years. While this approach seems logical, it doesn’t have to be so. Just remember, you are only one person away from blowing those predictions away.

So who is that person and how do you find him/her? Well, in the immortal words of Jack Palance to Billy Crystal in the movie City Slickers — P: “You know the secret of life boils down to one thing.” C: “What is that one thing?” P: “Well, that’s what you have to figure out.”

I don’t know who that person is or where I will meet them, although sites like Biznik.com & Ecademy.com greatly increase my chances.  But I do know one thing, the odds that I will find them – or them find me – are greater the more I believe and trust in this process. The mind works like a missile. Once it locks into a target; it finds a way to get there.

you haven’t received the results that you hoped for after joining and participating in various Social Networking (SN) sites, there’s a good possibility it’s because you’ve made one or more of these mistakes. I’ve made everyone of these mistakes and paid the price. On the flip side, I’ve also corrected these mistakes and the results have been phenomenal.

Mistake # 1: Not having the right mindset.

If you go into SN with a sales mentality, you will fail. Sales is about closing transactions. Networking is about building relationships. There’s a time where selling is appropriate in a relationship. However nothing damages a relationship faster than selling without first building a relationship.

The Referral Institute™ teaches the VCP model. VCP stands for Visibility – Credibility – Profitability. In simple terms, this means that people need to first know who you are. Then they need to trust you. It’s only when they both know and trust you that they comfortably buy from you. Trying to move from visibility to profitability without earning credibility doesn’t work.

To correct Mistake #1 shift your focus from selling to building relationships.

Mistake #2: Not having a strategy.

Going into the SN arena without having a strategy is like going to the grocery store without a list, and to make matters even worse, going when you’re starving. Odds are you will forget to buy some of the items you truly needed, and you will bring home some junk instead.

Using the VCP model, you must have a strategy to increase both your visibility and your credibility. When you accomplish this, generating business will be much easier. So what would be an example of a strategy to build your visibility? At Biznik.com you can easily do this by writing articles, hosting events, posting comments, answering questions, welcoming people and more. It means getting involved in the SN community. The more involved you are, the more visibility you gain.

One easy way to build credibility is to have people who already trust you give you a testimonial or third party endorsement. Look for people you know who are already members on the site and ask them for a testimonial. Better yet, offer a testimonial for them first. If you don’t have anyone you know on the network, invite them to join. Once you start building your relationships with others on the network, they too will be able to give you testimonials.

To correct Mistake #2 come up with a strategic plan to gain visibility and credibility.

Mistake #3: Not having patience.

We live in a fast-paced society–one with very little patience. We eat fast food. We drive fast cars. We multitask. We all have been conditioned to expect immediate results. So we usually give our social networking a few weeks or months. If we don’t get any sales, we quit.

Steven Covey tells a story about what it takes for the bamboo plant to grow. He states that there are certain types of bamboo plants that take up to four years before they come out of the ground. Prior to them coming out of the ground, the plants are growing by spreading their roots underground. If you didn’t know this, it looks like nothing is happening. On the other hand, once they break ground, they surge upward from 12-36 inches in a 24-hour period!

Networking is very similar to this. I’m not saying that it will take four years before you see results, but it certainly won’t be immediate. So building your visibility and your credibility takes time. It is like the bamboo plant spreading its roots. Eventually you will start generating business. You just have to be patient.

To correct Mistake #3 give yourself twice as much time as you think you will need before you evaluate whether your efforts are paying off.

Mistake #4: Not having any free products to give away.

My wife is from Sweden. In her country it’s very common for people who visit other people’s homes to always bring a gift. It’s not about bringing a gift on a special occasion. It’s about the principle of gratitude. If someone is inviting you to their home, you express your gratitude by bringing a gift.

In networking this principle is very powerful as well. Showing someone gratitude and appreciation is a great way to build the relationship. However, nowadays free does not carry the punch that it once did. This is because very seldom is “free” truly free. My dad jokes that “free” is the most expensive word in the dictionary. So offering a free gift is often viewed with suspicion – especially when the gift is connected with the product or service you are selling.

On the other hand, if the intent behind the gift is to truly express appreciation for connecting, it brings you closer to the other person. When it takes on a “pay it forward” approach, the results can be remarkable.

One of the best tactics you can use in your SN strategy is to find or develop a gift you can offer to prospects for free-one that’s not directly related to what you sell.  After trying different things myself, I finally created a product that accomplished the above goal. Since I’ve incorporated this product, I’ve been generating 8-10 new qualified prospects every week.

To correct Mistake #4 develop a product or service that has value in the eyes of your prospects. Make sure that it’s not related to your core offering and give it away for free. If you can’t come up with a product of your own,  I’ll be glad to share some ideas.

Mistake #5: Focusing on numbers vs. relationships.

Joining many sites and adding lots of friends or people to your network is not a strategy. It may be good for your ego, but it will not result in you doing business. Remember networking is about relationships–not about numbers.

You’re better off building a smaller network of people with whom you have a relationship, than a larger group of people you don’t know or interact with. Remember in order to gain visibility, you will have to get involved and participate in the community.

To correct mistake #5 limit the number of sites you belong to.  Ideally choose no more than three or four — depending on the amount of time that you are willing to devote to your overall strategy.  Deeper is better than wider. Try a site, get involved and see how you like it. Most networking sites give you access to a free version so that you can try it out before you commit money and start paying for additional features. New Social Networking sites are being added every week. Don’t go chasing for the “latest, greatest” or the one that your friend invited you to. Stick to a few and work them. If one doesn’t work, then go ahead and add a new one.

In a future article I’ll cover tactics I’ve been using to implement this strategy of focusing on relationships.

If you are a small business owner, one of the best tools to grow your business is networking. What exactly is networking? It is the exchange of information, support and/or referrals. While many small business owners already do face-to-face offline networking, many are still not using online (Social) networking (SN). This is a major strategic mistake. While I don’t believe that face-to-face networking is going to go away any time soon, social networking is becoming more prevalent.  It can greatly enhance your offline networking.

The main reasons people don’t use SN are: they don’t know how to get started; there are too many choices out there; and it’s too overwhelming. In this article I will attempt to address these objections.

Why use Social Networking (SN)?

Networking is all about building and sustaining relationships. I have found you do this by having quality conversations with people. The more quality conversations you have with people, the stronger the relationships. Another element that helps strengthen relationships is contributing to the success of others. Any time you can share information, support and/or give referrals that will help others, you are building “social capital” that will later allow you to capitalize on for your business. As an analogy, you make deposits into your bank account so that you can later make withdrawals.

SN allows you to do this much faster and more efficiently than face-to-face networking. By engaging in SN you will build a stronger, wider network of people you can serve. This means that you will have a deeper network that will serve you and likewise you them.

SN also allows you to open conversations. Every time you join a new site, invite a new person, share a resource, post a blog, etc. you are inviting others to participate in a conversation with you. These conversations have often led to sales for my products and services. An example of this was a former client of mine who had invited me to join his network–because he found I was already in the community he had joined (see below LinkedIn). His invitation opened the door for me to start a conversation about what was new with him in his life.  This led to a direct sale for one of our courses for both he and his new wife. Prior to this online encounter, I had no current information on him or a way to contact him. Their course registration would not have happened without this online vehicle.

How to get started

I will share with you how I’m doing it. This is by no means the only, nor necessarily the best method. It is just how I’ve done it. The system I’ll outline has some specific elements that anyone can duplicate or use as a model to build their own. One thing that all of the sites I’m mentioning have in common is that they are free. They also allow you to control the amount of information you receive. I’m also sharing them in the chronological order I started using them. If you devote just one hour per week to your SN activities, in time, you will see a significant payoff.

LinkedIn
www.LinkedIn.com

I use this site to build my network of people that will allow me to play the role of “matchmaker.” The people I have linked with are, for the most part, people I feel comfortable referring to others and referring others to them. One of the ways I use this site is with my BNI – Business Network International referral partners. Whenever I do a one-to-one meeting with them, I have them look through my contacts at LinkedIn and identify who they would like me to introduce them to.

Another way I use LinkedIn is by asking my network if they know of a particular individual or vendor that is not in my direct network. This way I can expand my reach way beyond what I could on my own. For example, last week I received an inquiry from one of my clients to see if I knew a videographer who specialized in doing work for websites. I didn’t. However I asked my network in LinkedIn, and I was able to get two different people that came highly recommended.

The third way I use LinkedIn is by building my credibility. Building trust is essential in building strong business relationships. One of the best ways to build trust is to have others give you endorsements and testimonials. LinkedIn makes it very easy to request and receive these recommendations.

To get started in LinkedIn, you create a free account, and you start building your network. The easiest way to do this is to import your address book contacts from whatever database you use – Gmail, Yahoo, Outlook, etc. By doing this, you can immediately see who is already in LinkedIn.  Connecting with them is then just a matter of you clicking a few buttons to send them an invite. If they are not already in the system, you can use a different LinkedIn invite to ask them to join. After joining, they can link to you. This takes an extra step on their part, but not on yours.

Once you start your network, you can continue to add people. Remember it is not just about numbers. It is about quality. However, the more quality connections you have, the more your network is worth–to both you, as well as the others you connect with.

Plaxo
www.Plaxo.com

I use this site primarily to be reminded of people’s birthdays. They have a reminder system that integrates seamlessly with an electronic card system that makes it a breeze to send a birthday reminder. There are many other uses for this site, but this is how I personally use it.

To get started, you create your own account and start building your network. Use the same system you used for LinkedIn. You will grow your network the same way. Plus, you will create goodwill when you use the Plaxo auto-feature of sending them timely birthday wishes.

Biznik
www.Biznik.com

Biznik is an online community that focuses on its members sharing resources and information. In this site you can write and submit articles – such as this one – that are useful to the members. This will allow you to demonstrate your expertise and make it easier for people who have a need for what you do to possibly do business with you.

I also use Biznik to promote my free telecourses and my new stay in touch marketing system called QuoteAction. Biznik also has live events that allow you to meet in person with the people you have met online.

Twitter
www.Twitter.com

Twitter is a microblogging site. Microblogging is a term that refers to making very short posts. You’re limited to 140 characters which is about 20-30 words. While most people who use this medium currently do it for personal, and in my opinion soft reasons, there is a business use I have identified. Since I have both a blog and a podcast, I can put out a “tweet” (announcement) every time I have a new post or episode. I can also use it to share links to articles or sites that would be valuable to my network. For example, the people following me on Twitter, will be notified when this article is finished and posted.

Twitter also allows you to build “informal intimacy.” By sharing more about who you are and what you stand for, people will get to know you better. And the more they know you, the more they trust you. You can follow me and get updates

So there you have it. A beginner’s guide for non-geeks to get started integrating Social Networking (SN) with Offline Networking. I would really welcome comments as to how YOU are using these platforms and the results you’ve experienced–so that I can learn from you.